I think I'm starting to remember what it is like to be lonely. I know that the holidays inspire loneliness when one is not surrounded by familiar faces of loved ones, but this time it's different. Over a week and a half until Christmas, and I find myself missing those who I associate with. The neighbor and his girlfriend are here, so they're keeping me from going too crazy, but the old saying of "Two's company, three's a crowd," seems to be stabbing me in the guilt center of my emotional side.
I know that I'd probably have felt the same way if I'd gone home, or had planned on going home. I think I'm just being too affected by the quiet of my complex.
I've never been a big fan of silence. It always seems to be inspiring some sort of negative result, whether that result be letting my thoughts run rampant or just giving me nothing to distract from every little bit of self doubt that tap dances along my psyche. I always seem at my lowest when I'm anywhere that the sound level is little to none. Strange how it seems I'm incapable of tolerating too much noise. That might simply be due to the fact that I am the one who has to be controlling the noise.
I'm rambling. I know I am. I'm just in a quirked mood.
Until later, little ones.
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