This is turning into a year of loss. Family and friends have died or gotten sick. The latest one is a girl who I befriended but haven't talked to in years. She is also the sister of an old friend of mine. Barely out of her teens.


Never would have expected this to happen after everything that has taken place earlier this year.


I don't think I want to hope for this year to improve. Each time I do, it only gets worse.

It still hurts enough to cry when I think about this past year. I'm tired of feeling like this. I guess the line from one of Stephenie Meyer's novels holds true unfortunately --


"Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget."

It is odd, how easily talking to an old friend can bring up your mood. I am sure that the last time I talked to one of them was before I realized that this coming year would not include my returning to the field of academia. I know that I missed our random bouts of sniping at each other, but I did not realize how much.


Well, earlier today, I got to talk to him. My mood, which had been fairly good to begin with, seemed to have skyrocketed. I found myself laughing more than I have in a while. I even told him that I miss him, anticipating his reaction to be one of playful mocking. There was a touch of that, but in the end, he admitted the same. I have missed this sort of bantering with friends.


To all those who read this, I encourage you to go out and reconnect with old friends, even if for a moment. Strike up a conversation. Offer a smile. Just do something. You might be surprised.