A Rainy Day

To say that I hate the rain would be misleading. It would, however, not be misleading if I said that sometimes the rain can prove to be one of the banes of my existence.

Now, I won't say that I'm prone to panic or anxiety attacks. While I'm fairly high strung, I'm usually composed enough to keep myself calm. This is something I've regained over the course of the past year, give or take. Given how my emotional state of well being has fluctuated for the most part, but it has stabilised.

Now, with this said, I must admit that after a day of driving around, which I don't usually do, I find the rain feeding on old paranoia and fear stemming back to September 2006. I'm not going to go in depth about what happened. That's a story to tell later. I'll just relate that this time it was in the role of the passenger that I felt the old anxiety rise up.

For a slight clue -- not being able to see more than five feet in front of you while riding in torrential rain is bloody well terrifying when you're more than a little tired. Granted, a cat coming up to you and silently asking to be pet is most definitely a great comfort. Especially when said cat was previously too scared to come near you.

With that said, I'm going to clutch at a strawberry blonde tom who is currently climbing all over me. (Don't you wish you could say that at various points in time. ;)

The Myth of the Biological Clock

It seems that whenever I mention not wanting to ever have children, someone winds up bringing the tripe bit of garbage about the so called Biological Clock. They tell me that, as a woman, my clock will be going off soon, blaring about how it's time for me to expel a larger bit of biological matter from my body.

I don't believe it.

If the propaganda about the biological clock were true, then how does it affect nuns? These women dedicate themselves to a lifestyle that leads them away from an existence filled with carnal desires, and as a result, producing progeny. Does one say to them, "Oh, give it time. Your biological clock will be screaming when you're older?"

I'd hope not. It'd be considered offensive, so I have to wonder about what makes it right to say such a thing to a woman who simply refuses to bear a child without the added condition of lifelong servitude to a deity. What makes it right to belittle a woman's choice so freely?

Nothing, in my opinion. The garbage about the biological clock is just that-- garbage. If one feels the desire to reproduce, then go right ahead, but don't belittle those who don't. Some of us are just realizing how overpopulated the world really is.

And the rest, well, I'm guessing they just don't care. I don't.

It's a sad thought when I think about just how readily some people can lose themselves to an obsession with television shows. How readily people are willing to welcome worlds drenched in fantasy and imagined horrors is a thought that leaves me worried for the people who want these worlds. Can life really be that bleak?

Take a friend of mine for example-- instead of working on issues with her boyfriend and spending time with her two kids, often she is lamenting about how she's treated or yelling at her young boys. Every time our schedules mesh, I spend the time listening to her go on and on about the latest show she's been watching or to descriptions of the dreams in which she is with whichever character she finds attractive or desirable.

I wish that there was something that I could say, but what can one say to a friend who feels trapped by the family she loves?

Anonymity

Now, readers, I've been reading a bit about anonymity, and it's led me to want to make one thing clear.

I've no intention of remaining anonymous. If asked (which I doubt will happen), I'm not going to shy away and say, "Oh, I'm just my pseudonym." I make no open attempt to go about revealing my true persona, but I'm not really secretive enough to go through and hide it fully like so many bloggers have been in the past. I am who I am.

And honestly, if you look hard enough to find my email address, you're going to find out a couple of things about me right off the bat. If you click the first link under suggested readings, you'll find a link to a real life friend of mine's blog. If your take on word play is good enough, from her information, you'll find out even more about me.

With this said, I don't encourage you to go through and actually look me up. I've had enough stalkers in my day.

That and I encourage you to read this blog with an open mind. To go through and read about the various bits of drama that take place without your perception having been altered by knowing what some of my interests are and just how crazed I am about certain subjects. If you want to know the truth or about some of my interests, ask. I'm an open person. Just give me a while to get back to you. I don't have constant internet access after all.